Falling in love with your best friend is a hackneyed idea, a story that is repeatedly shown in movies. Two best friends, living in denial about their feelings, eventually see the light and the piece of fiction ends with a conventional union of souls. Such was not the case with her. She was in love with her best friend, but this fact only caused undue complications , for her bestie was a girl too.
They were both 19 years of age. She had known her best friend Jess since 2nd grade, which was a matter of great pride for the two of them. Jess wasn't a very constant person when it came to relationships. The people in her life entered and exitted like characters in a play, each with a fixed role and stage-time. She was the only stable person in Jess's life. They loved each other, albeit in two very different ways. Ignorance on Jess's part was the reason why their friendship survived the odds, although it only increased the undue anxiety for her.
Jess had always wondered why her best friend had such a strong aversion to romantic relationships. She could discern how much the words 'love' and 'boys' bothered her friend. She would actually cringe at the very mention of those words. No matter how hard Jess pleaded, she would not yield. Jess wanted to see her happy. She was temperamental and moody and had walls around her that were impossible to scale. Eventually, She gave up on the attempt of setting her friend up.
Jess was the exact opposite. She fell in love each day anew, and by evening had her heart in pieces. Her friend was always around to pick her up when she fell. She patiently endured Jess's trysts with love,even though it sparked off intense feelings of envy in her.
She was strangely possessive about Jess. It had taken her an excruciatingly long time to recognise her sexual orientation, and an even longer time to label her feelings for Jess. Every moment around Jess hurt her, but every moment away hurt more. She was constantly waging a battle with her feelings- a cruel war between her mind and her heart. She knew the truth would shatter Jess, but the secrecy was becoming too much of a burden for her. She couldnt handle the traumatic pain of her situation, yet she could seek no remedy.
Jess knew something was amiss, as she saw her friend's anxiety and unease compound on a regular basis. It bothered her that she couldnt help her. She failed to understand the reason and that troubled her more. She was completely oblivious of the fact that she was the reason behind her friend's misery.
As time went on, the steady bond between the two was waning, its strength was put to test. On one occassion, she found herself lying next to Jess, struggling to maintain her composure. She closed her eyes and pondered about the grevious situation. Jess would be heart-broken, maybe even disgusted. She hated herself for putting Jess in this situation. But she knew their friendship wouldn't last if the emotional burden on their minds became unbearable. The delicate bond of friendship was but a fragile thread. She realised she had to ease the tension , reduce that emotional burden. The truth seemed to be the only solution. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Calling Jess's name, she prepared herself for the big confession. She had finally gained the boldness to come out of the suffocating closet and to take her first steps out in the open.